Back to Bangkok and on to Hong Kong

Well, it did rain for 3 days at the beach. It didn't rain all day, and it didn't rain particularly hard, but it did rain. It was pretty amusing to watch people migrate to and from the pool as the weather changed throughout the day. All the work of getting kids in their pool gear and lathered up with sunscreen only to get an hour or two of decent weather. Oh well. I don't have kids.

I will admit to staying at the Hilton in Hua Hin. I will also admit to staying there mainly because of the Conrad Hilton character in Mad Men. He sold me on the whole 'bringing America to the world' bit, and I was curious to see how the chain is accomplishing his goal. All in all, I'd say it was pretty much America except for the Americans. I'm pretty sure there were mainly Northern Europeans in Hua Hin. Plenty of old dudes in speedos, and lots of not-French/Italian/Spanish being spoken. The only reason I'm not positive is because there were also plenty of fat people, and I thought Americans were the fat people in the world. Perhaps Americans are wearing speedos and learning other languages.

Back in Bangkok, I took a picture for my loyal followers.  The view from my hotel.  You're welcome.

At the Bangkok airport, I just paid a little over $10 for Burger King. Not sure how that happened; I'm not proud of it. Now on to Hong Kong with Emirates in the A380.  That probably doesn't mean much to people, but it's the only plane in the world with private suites and showers on board (no, I'm not in one).  It's also the quietest, biggest (up to 600ppl), and most fuel efficient plane on the market.

  

To Bangkok

The best I could coax out of the iphone

At first, I was regretting not getting up early to take the Buddha Air mountain flight (just an hour of buzzing around the Himalayas) with a couple people from the group. I had heard it could get delayed, and I had no intention of missing my flight to Bangkok, where a real hotel with assuredly clean bedding and towels awaited (I got the feeling many Indian and Nepali linens were their version of clean). Luckily, I sat on the window of the left side of the Thai Air flight out of Kathmandu, and was treated to a view of the entire Himalayan range as we headed down to Bangkok. It was stunning. I tried to take some pictures with my iphone, but none of them do the 20min of perfect mountain views justice.

I ate dinner at the hotel, and then I had breakfast at Starbucks. It was delightful. My theory on the low quality of the last few weeks of my diet was confirmed, and my stomach had its first quiet day in some time. Luckily, it's raining in Bangkok, so I don't feel the need to do any sight-seeing. I'm not even going to take any pictures. But I did take a jog in the gym and relax in the hot tub. Tomorrow I head to the beach in Hua Hin, and I really wouldn't mind if it rains a couple days there, too. The whole point of Thailand is to gain back the 5+ pounds I've lost and rest up before 3 weeks in China.

Back to Kathmandu

If you haven't guessed which airline we flew from Chitwan to Kathmandu, you're way behind. Buddha Air, of course. It's actually the only Nepalese airline foreigners begrudgingly trust. Yeti Air is surprisingly not on the list, and neither is (Royal) Nepal Airlines, which has all of four 70's-era jets to its name.

It's a 20min flight to Kathmandu, but, of course, we had to get there two hours early. On top of that, it was SLIGHTLY cloudy, and our guide was pretty convinced there wouldn't be any flights. They didn't fly any yesterday, and we were thinking it's cloudier today. This brings us to the joy of internal Nepal flights: they don't really have air traffic control, and there's not much in the way of radar. So, mist, darkness, and rain all quickly cancel flights. I was personally really hoping for a flight, because it's a 5hr drive (yeah, it takes 5hrs to get 50-60miles as the crow flies when there are mountains). Luckily, we made it out of the forest and back to civilization. (Fun tidbit: the flight was actually on time, which our van driver didn't even consider possible, so he was late picking us up.)

Cremation platforms

Close-up

We headed out from the airport to see the last sight of the trip: the holy place where the Nepalese burn their dead. The whole area is full of stupas and temples and holy men, but the main point is the platforms built next to the river where bodies are burned. Anyone can use them, and bodies are burned non-stop. I found it unsettling to see mourning families watching a loved one burn. Many tourists seemed to treat it like any other famous sight, but it was all I could do to snap a couple pictures (just to satisfy you blog-readers, of course) before retreating. I didn't really think I'd like random people from Nepal crashing my funeral, so I tried to stay out sight. That being said, they really didn't seem to mind.

Chitwan 2

Bath with elephant

Day 2 in Chitwan may have actually beat day 1.  I skipped the 6am elephant ride.  I know, I know; how many more elephant safaris will I have the opportunity to go on?  Well, I'm a bit spoiled by a week of safaris in the Serengeti, and 2 hours on a lumbering elephant with a wooden bar between your legs may sound comfortable, but I assure you it is not.  Don't worry, I traipsed through the forest on a 1.5 hour nature walk at 830.  The 8ft tall termite hill worried me a little and convinced me not to buy any Chitwan real estate.

River? No problem

Next came the elephant info session and the opportunity to bathe with the elephants.  Fun facts for the kids at home: Asian elephants have a hump-back while African elephants have a straight back.  Asian elephants' trunks have one finger-type thing at the end while African elephants have 2, and (supposedly), Asian elephants' ears are the shape of India while African ones are the shape of Africa.  

The bathing was the best.  People basically volunteered to get sprayed with a fire-hose of river water.  Most of you should have guessed by now that I didn't think that was the best idea, but I was more that happy to watch and take pictures.  In fact, if no one had volunteered, it wouldn't have been any fun, so I thank the brave souls.

We ended the day with a Rover ride through the park.  It probably wasn't that fun for most people, but there's something really cool about conquering forests and rivers with a 1970's British truck.

Chitwan National Park

Getting on the elephants

Five hours of bad Nepalese roads (that's admittedly redundant) in the van and then a 40min Land Rover ride across trails, rivers, and streams, and we're in Chitwan National Park ready to head out on an elephant safari.  The coolest stuff to see in Chitwan is the Royal Bengal Tiger (well, the Bengal Tiger, but more on that later), the sloth bear, rhinos, crocodiles, and rare birds (booooring).  Our group saw everything but the coolest two, so that obviously means no tigers or sloth bears. We also tacked on some surprisingly ugly deer species, wild boars, and the kingfisher bird.

Self-Portrait

I am personally fascinated by the kingfisher because it is a bird, the most popular beer in India (get Kingfisher Blue - aka premium; the regular is a bit rough after a lifetime of premium American beers like Miller Light), and an airline.  I'm not sure about the history of these connections, but I'm thinking that the whole scenario is leftover from when birds used to rule the world.

I'll circle back to explain why there is no longer a ROYAL Bengal Tiger.  In 2008, the Kingdom of Nepal became the Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal.  In other words, the monarchy was abolished.  The then-king now lives in a normal 2-story house in the suburbs (probably smart keeping a low profile).  Well, the Nepalese decided that since the the government was no longer royal, nothing could be royal...  Royal Chitwan National Park = Chitwan National Park.  Royal Nepal Airlines = Nepal Airlines.  Royal Bengal Tiger = Bengal Tiger.  Clearly, there are many more examples of this.  I find it all mildly amusing.

Pokhara

Going against everything I believe in, I woke up at 5am today to take a drive to the highest point in Pokhara to watch the sun rise over the Himalayas. As luck would have it, the cloud gods are back in full force, and we couldn't even see one peak. The cloud cover was so thick, it even took me a while to notice that the sun was on the horizon. Based on the pictures all the locales were hawking, the view is pretty amazing when the sky is clear. You can see 10 or so major Himalayan peaks. Moral of the story is that nothing good has ever come from waking up at 5am.

We are supposed to hike to the World Peace Pagoda in a bit, but I'm not feeling the need to get dusty and dirty for a second time today. Plus, I've already run, which automatically makes it a productive day no matter what else you do. True story.

Heading to Pokhara

Tibetan (refugee) monastery

We left Begnas after lunch and headed towards the Tibetan refugee camp. We stopped by a small Tibetan monastery and then a traditional rug weaving factory. The monastery was cool to see mainly because I watched Seven Years in Tibet before I left, and all the monks were wearing the same garb as the monks in the film. I know that's a bit shallow, but I find it hard to really get into golden statues and prayer wheels. As for the monk thing, that didn't look fun at all. It's the destiny of the middle son to become a monk, and many join when they are 5 or 6 yrs old. While I haven't spent too much time in jail, I'm going to comfortably rate the accommodations as prison-level.

Turning wool into yarn

I was impressed by the Tibetan rug weaving. Three women outside were doing some wild handiwork turning wool into yarn (or string or whatever), and inside, women were putting the yarn to work. The rugs were nice, I suppose, but the impressive part was that the whole operation was handled in one building, and I'd put one of the women up against a machine any day. Their hands never stopped.

After the Tibetan-themed stop, we arrived in Pokhara at a pretty decent lakeside resort. I'd say it's about a 3-star hotel now. But, back in the day, it was clearly 5-stars; plenty of 60's and 70's celebs and royalty visited. I'm finding the 'used to be 5-star' to be somewhat of a pattern in India and Nepal. It's like the British built themselves a bunch of super-preppy destinations, but then they went into decline along with the empire. Regardless, I ventured out for a run, and I'm about to grab some dinner in town.

Begnas

View from hotel
(should be able to see Himalayas above the hills)

The next stop after Bandipur was Begnas. The main/only attraction is the Begnas Lake Resort. It is on a protected lake; no motor boats are allowed, so guests have to take a 30min row boat ride to the hotel. I'm guessing the row boat bit influenced the construction just a tad, since it took 3.5yrs to build just 30 rooms. We took an afternoon hike and then everyone partook in the 2-for-1 afternoon happy hour.

Up until Begnas, every day had very misty/cloudy, but waking up in Begnas, the Himalayas peaked out of the clouds. They are awe-inspiring even when still pretty covered with mist. I'd say beautiful, but I think a better term would be one that somehow fully encompasses both frightening and amazing.

Bandipur

Bridge to the school

Looking over Bandipur

Leaving Kathmandu, we headed towards the mountain town of Bandipur. We stopped about half-way and hiked over the river to a school, where we donated supplies and chatted a little with the kids. (well, some people chatted with the kids) Then we had lunch on the riverbank.

Bandipur is a really old-school town with no vehicles. It's a quiet, relaxing place. All the hotels are just converted homes, which means all the doorways are about 5' 5” high. (The Nepalese are quite small; our guide towers over people, and he's 5' 9”) The height issue came into play as I banged my head on absolutely every doorway for 24hrs.  

In and around Kathmandu

Great Stupa

Our first stop of the morning was the Great Stupa of Tibetan Buddhism, which is just outside Kathmandu in Bodnath. It is a collection of temples and shrines built high above the valley. They're serious about religion here; most people hit up a temple before breakfast. Also, the workweek is 6 days long, but this is offset by the huge number of religious festivals/holidays that are celebrated.

Durbar Square

Heading back into Kathmandu, we explored Durbar Square, which is where the old palaces and temples are. The pagoda architecture of the temples is really cool. The woodwork of the temples and palaces looks pretty good even though it's 400 years old. At the palace, I was lucky enough to see the living goddess. The goddess is a 6yr old girl chosen based upon lineage and 32 different physical traits, and she lives in the palace until she reaches puberty. Yes, it does sound a little weird and creepy, and it was made even worse by the heavy makeup she was wearing. (No pics allowed. Sad.)

Bhaktapur Temple

Next, we drove out to the feudal city of Bhaktapur. The palaces and temples there are similar to Kathmandu's Durbar square, but the setting in the smaller town with hardly any vehicles made it a little bit more intriguing. We had a traditional lunch of lentil bread and vegetable curry and then yogurt for dessert. My body is craving some regular fruits and vegetables. Everything in India and Nepal is caked in oil and sauces. You get the feeling they're trying to hide the poor quality of the food.  

Back to Delhi, on to Kathmandu

We caught a flight from Varanasi back to Delhi. I can unequivocally state that the nicest part of Varanasi is the airport. Once in Delhi, we had a farewell dinner, and I left at 4am for my 730am flight to Kathmandu.

One is absolutely correct to question the need to arrive 3hrs early for a 1.5hr flight leaving at 730am. In fact, I took the opportunity to seriously test the tour guide's reasoning, but he was insistent and correct. There was hardly a soul in the airport, yet it still took 2 hours to get through security, and boarding for international flights closes 45min before takeoff. I barely made it. Delhi has a brand-new, luxurious airport, but it is almost entirely offset by the way the place is run.

The Kathmandu airport has one terminal and 2 baggage claims. It was a welcome change from the size and crowds of India. I took a little nap in the hotel (which is the old royal palace) before heading out to walk around the city.

On my walk, I stumbled upon the Garden of Dreams and had my first real cup of coffee in 10 days. Things are looking up. I also had a great meal and was able to use the internet. The little things make a difference.

After a tasty dinner, I had a second Everest beer (660ml) at the hotel and passed out at 8pm or so. Early morning tomorrow to catch all Kathmandu's sights.

Varanasi

We arrived in Varanasi after a 12hr overnight train ride. I didn't sleep much; every time the train stopped, I woke up. I was a little worried this would cut into my precious sight-seeing, but it turns out that really the only thing to see is the pilgrims bathing themselves in the toxic waste dump that is the Ganges River. It is believed that a bath in the Ganges will cleanse your sins and that if one dies in Varanasi, the cycle of reincarnation is finished and enlightenment is attained.

As a result of all the religious background, you can't buy beer. Also, Varanasi has become a haven for the those hippie/spiritual westerners attempting to 'find' themselves. I found myself sneering at every white male wearing traditional Indian clothes, hanging out by the river. There's a very specific word phrase that kept popping in my head when I ran into my western brethren. I wouldn't dare publish the phrase in a public blog, but it rhymes with 'bouche dag.'

That being said, the sunrise boat ride was admittedly quite nice. And seeing the crematorium, which operates 24hrs a day, was interesting. Literally forests of wood were stacked around the building, just waiting to engulf human remains in flames.

After the sunrise boat ride, I was out for the count. The combination of a sinus infection and a stomach pretty tired of super-spicy food did me in, and I slept for 20hrs. Interesting facts: 25% of foreigners end up with a sinus infection in India (that's how bad the pollution is), and Varanasi is the place where most foreigners fall ill (it is a dirty, dirty place).

Crematorium

Khajuraho

Simon and I at the main Temple

After a 4 hour drive, we arrived in Khajuraho, which is home to the famous Kama Sutra temples. The main temple is a UNESCO world heritage site. The architecture is unlike anything I've ever seen, but the carvings of orgies and sex positions cheapen the experience a little (I think). It's tough to regard a building as sacred and holy when there are carvings of women with D cups contorting into impossible sexual positions. Not to mention the carving of the soldiers having sex with a horse and masturbating.

Soldiers, animals, and themselves

There's not much else going for Khajuraho. It is pretty small and dirty. Definitely just a day stop, which is exactly how we handled it. At 11pm, we hopped on an overnight train to Varanasi.

(As a side note, I'm not really sure why I chose to visit Northern India. The entire area basically reminds me of a Mexican border town. Of course, there have been beautiful sites and interesting experiences, but it's definitely not a stop for someone looking for a relaxing couple weeks. The intense overcrowding and absurd overuse of horns is tough to get past.)

Indian joggers and Orchha

Orchha is a quaint city of 10,000 people surrounded by hills and centuries-old ruins. Before setting out to explore the palaces and temples, I took a jog. I also ran around the streets of Jaipur, and it's a fun experience for a couple of reasons. First of all, I usually tune the world out while running, assuming my mind will subconsciously guide me away from danger. Well, subconscious guiding is not enough on an Indian road. There are no sidewalks, and – as discussed – the streets are chaos. Every time I found myself even thinking about thinking about something other than running, I found myself about ½ a second from being run over. That added a fun little layer to running. The second fun layer is that I'm guessing the people of India have never seen a jogger before. As a result, each run was essentially 30-40min of people pointing, laughing, whistling, and yelling. The whole experience was vaguely menacing (is there such thing as a hate crime against runners?), so I ended up posting some pretty impressive mile times.

Orchha Palace Complex     Me, my man-purse, and Orchha

The palaces and temples of Orchha have not been kept up well, but I thought it was more than made up for by the fact that you can climb around and explore anywhere you want. After touring and climbing, we drank beer and watched the sunset from the riverbank while looking back towards the ruins. The experience was only slightly marred by the fact that I was drinking a Vasco (de Gamma? Who knows, I've never heard of it) beer, which turned out to be about a year past expiration. Oh well. I guess we were too thirsty to notice.

Sunset over Orchha Palaces  

I should probably attempt to tell you all the legends and facts surrounding the area and the amazing buildings, but after about 3 sentences on reincarnation and Vishnu, I tuned out and shortly left the group to see what I could find. While I didn't discover the fountain of youth or even the key to happiness, I can confidently say I do not regret missing out on the history and religion lesson. If anyone really wants to know, I suggest you Google/Wikipedia: Jehangir Mahal, Raja Mahal, and Lakshami Temple. For those of you hoping I'll toss out a nugget of truth, 'mahal' means palace. Now go out and impress your friends and coworkers.

Agra (Taj Mahal)

(I can't get pics to upload, so links will have to suffice)

A five hour bus-ride gets you from Jaipur to Agra; it's a nice ride through rolling farmland. There were little huts every half-mile selling basically the same rubbish over and over again. The one exact item they all offered was dried cow patties. Some stores had multiple stacks five feet high of the stuff. It kindof seemed like the currency of the countryside. I imagine chicken cooked over an open shit flame is delicious.

Taj Mahal from the Red Fort

Once in Agra, it doesn't take long to realize that there's not much going for it other than the Red Fort and the Taj Mahal. The Red Fort was fine; it is where the British first received permission for their East India Company to trade in India. The forts in Jaipur were more impressive except for the fact that the Red Fort has views of the Taj Mahal. Unfortunately, it hasn't been kept up too well, and the army still uses about 2/3's of it.

One of Three Identical Taj Entrances    Taj Mahal    Taj Mahal 2

There's not much to say about the Taj Mahal. Even the entrance gates are amazing. We went on a Sunday, and it was a madhouse of tourists and locals, but it couldn't detract from the Taj. There was a huge line of people to get inside, and being my impatient self, I was ready to call it quits. Luckily, there's a blond girl in the tour group, and when the guards saw her, they waived us all to the front of the line. While I'm glad I got to go inside, it's mainly just so I can say for certain that the inside is definitely not the impressive part.

Right now I am on an express train to Orchha. A quiet train ride through the countryside should be required after ever day or so in an Indian city.

Musings

I am feeling a little guilty about the extreme contrast I drew between Delhi and Jaipur. In an effort to assuage my conscience, I'd like to point out the similarities between the two cities (and I'm guessing most Indian cities).

Trash: Had I not been explicitly aware of the fact that both cities were real, long-standing destinations, I would have concluded that both were shanty towns built over landfills. While varying in degree by street and district, there is trash everywhere. And I don't mean that there is the occasional water bottle or napkin. I mean that there are piles of trash in corners, in the streets, in gutters , etc. Trash cans are rare, but that's not the issue, because they don't get used anyway. In an effort to fit in with the locals, I've stopped bothering to look for trash cans. (As a sidenote, I think the easiest way for India to up its stature enormously would be to tackle the trash problem.)

Urination/Defecation: In both Delhi and Jaipur, there was not a riskshaw ride that went by without seeing people openly relieving themselves in the street. Sometimes the person would at least turn away from traffic, but I would not say that was the norm. And we're not talking just peeing here.

Cars/Traffic: While the traffic in Jaipur was slightly better just because of the smaller population, it was still a madhouse. I dare anyone to rent a car in India. I dare you. Even if you survive, you'll have nightmares of horn choruses the rest of your life.

So, that's the grim truth of similarities, but there's another side: Both cities had fantastic places for well-off foreigners to escape the din. In theory, you could almost entirely avoid India while being in India. Stay at overpriced hotels and don't look out the bus window on the way to your sightseeing destination.

Jaipur

Rambagh Palace Hotel

Yesterday started with a 6am train ride to Jaipur. Of course, this is way too early, but the train was nice and the scenery of fields and ranches was a much-needed change from Delhi's stressful atmosphere.

Apparently, if you go to Jaipur, you're supposed to see a Bollywood film in some world-famous art deco theater. The tour guide spent about 20min trying to convince me I needed to go see a 3hr movie in a foreign language with no subtitles, but I wasn't taking the bait. Instead, I headed off to the Polo Bar and Steam Bar at Rambagh Palace Hotel. (The bar visit came after a late lunch of chicken curry, rice, bread, and some coffee; it was delicious
                                                                                       and and wiped an entire $1.00 off my net
                                                                                       worth.)

Amber Fort

 The Rambagh Palace is the place to stay in Jaipur. It is the old palace of the royalty, and with rates starting at $600/night, you're guaranteed a rif-raf free experience. The Polo Bar is a great old-school bar with deep wood and great leather chairs (and delicious gin cocktails). But the Steam bar took the cake; most of the drinking takes place in refinished luxury rail cars. With 45 acres of land surrounding the spot, the CONSTANT horns were a distant memory.

Now, I don't want my loyal readers to get the idea that I loved Jaipur because there's a hotel that made 

Lake Palace

 me feel like an English duke. At 1mm people, it is 95% smaller than Delhi, and roughly 95% better. Plus, the Amber Fort, City Palace, Lake Palace, and Observatory were great places to visit. Finishing up the day with a cocktail at Jaigarh Fort while watching the sunset over Jaipur was also great.

Tomorrow comes the Taj Mahal.

Observatory - largest sundial in the world

View from Jaigarh Fort bar

Delhi

 I arrived in Delhi at 6am on March 3^rd. The airport is somehow new and clean, and I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the warnings I had received about the squalor and over-population were unfounded. Turns out my conclusion was wrong.

Delhi, while vibrant and interesting, is not exactly a beautiful vacation spot. There is trash everywhere. The smells – good and bad – are pungent. There are too many people everywhere you look. It actually reminds of Mexico: tons of buildings and stalls that you have to assume were new at some point, but you can't quite imagine when. Once a light rain set in, the streets turned into mud pits, and the city began to look even more unlivable. Surviving and entire rainy season would be out of the question.

The worst of the over-crowding is the metro system. It was packed the entire day. If you couldn't manage to maneuver away from the doors, the crowds just sweep you out with them. Women have separate cars because it is impossible to tell accidental from intentional groping. The roads are just as crowded. With buses, cars, taxies, scooters, rickshaws, and people fighting for space, no one ends up going more than 15mph, and no cars are more than 2” apart when driving. I'm sorry if I ever complained about Houston traffic.

It should somehow be illegal for 20mm+ people to live in the same city.